Seltzer fans of the world rejoice, our summer soundtrack has arrived. Queer Chicago rapper Big Dipper has released an ode to LaCroix, the flavored water beloved by hip millennials and midwestern moms — like his — alike. "LaCroix Boi" is a smooth, R&B jam about seduction by way of sparkling water; just try not to be charmed by Big Dipper's passionate pronunciation of "pamplemousse." (His passion for the product matches that of Nick A. Caporella, chairman of LaCroix's parent company, judging by the last slide of this document.)
The accompanying video has it all — neon lighting, slow-motion water pouring, seltzer-loving studs. It also features a cameo from drag queen Alaska Thunderf*** of RuPaul's Drag Race fame, who is also no stranger to flawlessly campy rap. As debates about 2017's song of the summer emerge, you can keep your chart-toppers, I'll take an ice cold LaCroix with the bois, thanks.