Your Source for NPR News & Music

Sandwich Monday: We Tackle The Army's 'Pork Rib' MRE

Designed by a Michelin four-star general

We got our hands on an MRE — a "Meal, Ready to Eat" from the Department of Defense. It's a real marvel of engineering. In one flat bag, there's an imitation McRib, clam chowder, a couple of drinks, and some trail mix, and some note about how by eating this you consent to joining the Marines. All in one flat bag!

Special Guest Mike Pesca: This meal disgusts me more before 8 a.m. than most meals disgust me all day.

Miles: I'm going to imitation eat this imitation pork rib.

Ian: Anybody got napkins? I'm looking for a few good napkins.

Recipe either created by the Department of Defense or stolen from McDonald's by the NSA.
/ NPR

The MRE really is impressive. It's even got a little heating element you can use to warm up your soup. I got a good sense for how good a soldier I'd make, though, when I lacked the arm strength to open the bag.

Pesca: I'm not saying MREs are old, but this thing was bagged during the Ibrahim al-Jaafari administration.

Ian: It's so cute how they call the next course Operation Dessert Storm.

Barbecue sauce is the ultimate camo.
/ NPR

Pesca: If the Army eats too many of these, it's gonna take a whole new GI Bill to pay for the new GI Bills.

Ian: In about an hour, I'm going to dishonorably discharge this.

[The verdict: Fine — not the meal you're going to pick if you don't have to, but a pretty amazing feat to make all that nutrition portable. I'd put the Department of Defense's McRib up against the Golden Arches any day.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!

Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

Intern Seth washes out of basic training.
/ NPR

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
Ian Chillag
Related Stories
  1. Texas charging another large group of migrants with “riot participation”
  2. El Pasoans catch glimpse of solar eclipse
  3. Texas criminally charges more than 200 migrants involved in alleged “riot” at the border
  4. Lebanese migrant allegedly tied to terrorist group appears in federal court with a black eye