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Finding the right clothes when going through big life changes

ROB SCHMITZ, HOST:

Fall has officially arrived and with it, in some places, the need to finally break out some of those cozy sweaters. Changing seasons often call for a shift in your wardrobe, but finding the right clothes for your body is not always an easy task. Life Kit's Andee Tagle has more.

ANDEE TAGLE, BYLINE: Personal stylist Sophie Strauss knows what you're probably thinking. Caring about your style or your fashion sensibility with everything else going on in your life or the world? How superficial. But our clothes and the way they fit us are a big part of our sense of self. And so when your body changes for some reason - illness, pregnancy, weight gain, just life - and your clothes no longer fit you the way they used to, it can be painful.

SOPHIE STRAUSS: Clothes are communication. And when you put your clothes on and they don't feel right, it feels like opening your mouth to speak, and the wrong words come out.

TAGLE: Strauss, who's based in Los Angeles, calls herself a stylist for regular people. A lot of her clients come to her in moments of transition - new parents, people working through illness or stepping into new jobs, gender identities. They often feel overwhelmed because they have a closet full of clothes that don't fit or don't match the person they know themselves to be or both. In moments like those, she says, you start in an obvious place - the closet.

STRAUSS: Let's actually try your clothes on and identify the ones that feel good and the ones that feel bad. And when they feel bad, let's stop and go, why? I know that sounds like, yeah, duh, but most people don't do that.

TAGLE: So maybe carve out an evening where you can reacquaint yourself with the clothes in your closet. This shouldn't be a rushed activity the night of a party or in the 10 minutes before work. Strauss says when you give yourself some time to play a little dress-up, you might be surprised by how much versatility you can find in your wardrobe.

STRAUSS: You can tuck. You can tie. You can cuff. You can roll. You can - there - you know, belt. You can layer. There are just things you can cinch, right?

TAGLE: Start to notice what is and isn't working for you and how you talk to yourself about it. Strauss says her clients will often say things like, this just isn't doing me any favors, or I'm just not pulling this off.

STRAUSS: And usually, quite frankly, what people mean by it is it doesn't make their body look thinner.

TAGLE: But Strauss says you have to shift that mindset. If a shirt doesn't fit...

STRAUSS: You're not failing the shirt. The shirt is failing you.

TAGLE: Then get specific about how exactly that piece of clothing isn't working for you. Is the shirt too short for your torso, so you're constantly pulling it down? Do you love the pattern but find the cut just a little too wide for your frame? Strauss says dialing in on those small details can give you really important information. For example, maybe after spending time with your wardrobe, you realize you prefer when your tops can show off a high waist.

STRAUSS: Now let's sort of, like, memorize that's a spot you like your clothes to hit. That's a spot you don't like your clothes to hit. When you're shopping now, that might be something to look for.

TAGLE: If you need to refresh your closet, but your body is in a place of flux, Strauss says look for flexible wardrobe options. Clothing rental services are one idea, especially for anyone going through big weight fluctuations quickly, like if you're pregnant or breastfeeding. She also suggests shopping secondhand stores because they're more sustainable, usually offer lower price points and unique items. You also want to look for specific clothes that offer more flexibility.

STRAUSS: You know, a little bit of give or an adjustable feature like a wrap dress or a waist cinch or a drawstring or shoulder ties, or it's something that sits a little bit freer from the body.

TAGLE: The most important thing to remember, says Strauss, is that there's no right or wrong way to dress your body. There's a lot of messaging out there about what to wear and how to wear it, but try to tune that out. Personal style is just about agency and intention.

STRAUSS: And all that other stuff - the rules, the trends, the body type stuff - that's not style. That's marketing.

TAGLE: For NPR's Life Kit, I'm Andee Tagle.

SCHMITZ: For more tips from Life Kit, go to npr.org/lifekit.

(SOUNDBITE OF MADONNA SONG, "VOGUE") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by an NPR contractor. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.

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Andee Tagle (she/her) is an associate producer and now-and-then host for NPR's Life Kit podcast.
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